5 Steps to Get Out of a Rut
For several months now I have felt like I am in a liminal space, caught between old versions of who I was and who I am becoming but aren’t quite yet as old identities and ways of being release and new ones form.
It’s wintertime where I live, so stillness, rest, hibernation, inward focus and contemplation of the metaphoric seeds to sow for the next cycle of growth are the major and natural themes of this season. But my experience has been beyond wintertime blues.
I have felt lethargic, with little to no creativity or inspiration, no desire to go anywhere or do anything. My life has lacked clear direction, traction or forward flow. Depression (which Jeff Foster calls deep rest), listlessness and freeze states where my body wouldn’t let me move towards anyone or anything have been my companions at times.
Not even counsellors or therapists are immune to the deep challenges of human experience or nervous system responses. Fortunately, my counselling skills and trauma knowledge along with support from skilled and trusted practitioners has enabled me to ride through this difficult period.
In the last few days, I have experienced an incredible turnaround in an unexpected way.
This week I spent a few days in country Victoria to care and support a family member through a healing process. It was the first time I have been outside Melbourne and away from home in 18 months.
So it has been a welcome surprise and gift to return home and discover that I have been released from the rut I was in. I have more energy, drive and inspiration, as well as a renewed sense of meaning and vision. The pathlessness I had experienced for so long is finally starting to dissipate and open up. New opportunities and possibilities are starting to appear.
I’m grateful for this turnaround and all the good feelings that have returned to my body. As a deep, contemplative soul, I have reflected on why I have experienced this turnaround and gotten out of a rut without doing any inner work on myself. What was it that I did and that happened that helped to bring about this shift?
Here’s the process to get out of a rut that I discovered and how it helped.
1. Give yourself a break from your problems. Shift your attention to something else that is life affirmative.
The first step that made a difference was that I had to drive a long distance to where my family member lives and my focus was on helping them. I ceased to dwell and ruminate on my own problems, experience and stuckness. My focus was on helping my family member and doing something positive, supportive and good.
This meant that I stopped putting pressure on myself to get unstuck, make changes or take action and I stopped wasting energy thinking about my challenges.
Ruminating on your problems can take a lot of energy, be very draining and not resolve anything. Often we keep thinking about our problems to try and solve them, but as Albert Einstein said, you can’t solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it. When you’re so focused on your problem, often you can’t hear your intuition, outside guidance or inspiration. Sometimes the answers you need are not rational or linear. They may seem a little crazy, unrelated or tangential but to hear them, you need to open up your awareness and not stay so focused on the problem.
Also, taking time out from needing to solve your problems or make things can happen can also help to realign you with universal timing. Sometimes we want an answer now but our want is not in alignment with universal divine timing.
2. Do something new or different.
My family member has recently moved to a new town, one that I have never visited before. My husband encouraged me to take the longer scenic route to drive there so I passed through the beautiful Yarra Valley wine-growing region, Kinglake National Park and past Lake Eildon. This route was quite winding and hilly compared to the shorter, direct more linear route along the Hume Highway.
Just the drive up alone up there took me out of my linear thinking as the route was non-linear and it exposed me to the beautiful landscape and a new town that I didn’t know where I got to discover, including finding where the best coffee is. I also got to care for my family member in ways that I don’t usually get to do from a distance.
When you go somewhere new or that is not well known to you, or you try a new activity or one that you don’t do all the time, you bring the energy of the new into your life.
If life has been a bit groundhog day repetitive, where you do the same things every day and week, your energetic system and the energy of your life can become quite stale and stagnant. We need the energy of the new to nourish, replenish and inspire us.
3. Go into nature either somewhere you love or somewhere new
The route I drove to my family member’s town took me through beautiful landscape then while I was there visiting, I took time every day to walk beside the lake and river and take in all the trees and birds.
One of the many and most beautiful gifts of nature is that it can bring you into the altered state of consciousness of wonder and awe. Just being in a state of wonder or awe is healing because of the elevating energetic frequency of this state. It can naturally clear and heal pain, hurts, sadness and difficult energies.
In this state you also become very present and receptive to the world around you and it can become more possible to receive inspiration, ideas, solutions and answers to prayers and questions.
4. Move your body
As stated above, one of the things I did was to walk in nature every day. Movement can help bring you into a flow state while keeping your problem-solving mind occupied.
If you do something you enjoy, your energy field will be elevated by joy or other positive feelings, which will help you feel better. These positive feelings will be magnetic and you may start to attract people, ideas and solutions to you.
Movement can also help you get out of your head and more into your body or being state. While we like to think about our problems, inspiration, guidance, ideas and answers don’t tend to originate from your thinking mind. They can be dropped in through your crown, third eye, heart centre or aura or already be deeply encoded within your chakras and energetic system or hanging around just outside your energetic body waiting for an opening to come in or for your more open awareness to recognise them.
A loving note: If your body is in a freeze state, then it may be very difficult or feel impossible to start moving because your nervous system has the brakes on. If this is you, be very gentle and kind to yourself. Reassure your body that it safe and encourage it as you would a young child, to take a small step towards movement even if that is just to have a cup of tea in your backyard. Some gentle heart and belly breathing may help.
5. Do something of service
The purpose of my trip to the country was altruistic to support my family member through a healing process, help them around their home as they have mobility and health limitations and offer companionship.
According to the Mental Health Foundation UK, there is evidences that suggests that altruism promotes physiological changes in the brain that make you feel happy and good about yourself. It also creates belonging and reduces isolation, helps you keep things in perspective, and can have ongoing positive impacts for you and the person/organisation/creature you helped.
My personal experience is that this is true. I feel more connected to myself, my family member and life, and I continue to feel good about what I did.
I hope this article offers you some ideas about how you can get out of a rut. Remember, they are just suggestions which may or may not work for you. If you try them and feel like nothing changes or you’re still stuck in a rut, know that you haven’t done anything wrong and there’s nothing wrong with you. What works for one person doesn’t mean it works for everyone.
If you need some support to find your way out of your rut, you can learn more about how I can support you here.
With love and courage,
Kym xx
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