The power of liminal places for healing and change
Many years ago, I read an article that criticised people for choosing to spend their vacations laid out at the beach, lazing away their days, doing nothing. While the writer was also having a go at the impact of modern working culture that often results in cumulative exhaustion and depletion, it was their judgment of lazing days away at the beach that got under my skin and stuck with me.
Because what I think the writer didn’t understand is that regardless of whether you’re exhausted or feeling energised, the beach draws us to it because it is a magical and powerful, healing place.
Positioned between the land mass and the sea, the beach is a liminal place – a space between two others, a threshold and transitional space.
What is a liminal space?
Liminal spaces are places of healing, growth and transformation because they lie between the known and the unknown, the past and the future. At the beach, we know the land behind us by sight. In front of us is the sea and what lies beneath its surface is unknown.
I experience the beach in its liminal form as a vortex for healing and dreaming energy. It grounds me in the present moment firmly held by mother earth on the sandy shore while looking out over the expanse of sea to the endless horizon, I can open my heart and mind and dream into possibilities and receive inspiration.
Father Richard Rohr describes liminality as “a form of holding the tension between one space and another.” He says that, “it is in these transitional moments of our lives that authentic transformation can happen.”
“It is in these transitional moments of our lives that authentic transformation can happen.”
How do liminal spaces show up in your life?
During the course of your life you will arrive in liminal spaces many times. They’re not just physical places like the doctor’s waiting room. In therapeutic language it’s often referred to as the growing edge. These can include the likes of:
the ending of relationships including divorce and separation
the ending of an employment arrangement such as redundancy, being fired, quitting without another known job to go to, the end of a business or partnership
deciding to move house or towns or countries but not having another place to go yet
finishing a creative project and waiting for the next one to reveal itself
deciding to retire
any time you finish one chapter in your life but the next one hasn’t started yet
when you know you need to make changes but don’t know what to do or are avoiding change
perimenopause and entering menopause
pregnancy
marriage
going on a pilgrimage
They can also be internal shifts than the above externalized examples, like:
when we are called to let go of an identity or way of being
we need to claim personal powers or gifts or qualities that have been marginalized or existed outside our everyday awareness
where we need to step up in our life in a new and powerful way.
Why is it hard to be in a liminal time in our life aka on our growing edge?
Being in a liminal time in your life can make you feel fear, worry, anxiety, uncertainty and even panic.
You are moving into the unknown, which the nervous system may perceive as dangerous and may send you into fight, flight, shut down or even fawn mode to try and make what’s no longer working work for you work so that you can find the solid ground beneath your feet again without the change and to feel safe.
On your growing edge, there’s no new structure yet. There may be nothing concrete to aim towards, maybe jut some fuzzy or distant idea or sense or nothing at all. It can be a bit like being a sailor on the sea on a cloudy night without any landmarks or compass. It can be very disorienting.
Sometimes we get stuck on our growing edge or try to avoid being in this place. We can go round in circles or resist changes that our lives call us to make. It can be very frustrating and painful. And in the process, we delay realising our dreams.
What can you do if you are in a liminal time in your life? Here’s 3 tools…
I know the pain and beauty of the growing edge intimately having traversed many of my own, big and small.
Helping my clients through their liminal landscape, on their growing edge through change and transitions in their lives is my favourite work to do. It can be an incredible opportunity to know yourself more deeply, connect with soul qualities and gifts and to align or re-align with your soul’s and life’s calling. To be more you. To do what you came here to do.
If you find yourself in a liminal time in your life where you need to change or transition, here’s a few tips/tools to help you:
Heart and belly breathing.
It’s difficult and often impossible to see clearly or make informed decisions when you are highly stressed, anxious or overwhelmed. So spend at least a few minutes everyday doing some heart and belly breathing (or more often if you need.) Put one hand on your heart, the other on your belly and breathe slowly and deeply so that you fill your belly, then slowly exhale. This is a form of diaphragmatic breathing that stimulates the vagus nerve and activates the relaxation response of your parasympathetic nervous system which brings you into a state of rest/digest.
Spend some time at the beach.
Spend some time at the beach rr if you can’t physically get to a beach, use your imagination to take you there. Nature is such an incredible natural healer. As the beach is a liminal space, it holds what I call the energetic maps for being in a liminal space that you can absorb by just being there. It is a physical in-between space. You can hang out there feeling held and supported by the sand-covered earth beneath you, while simultaneously experiencing the land behind you (representing the past or known) and the sea before you (representing the future or unknown). You can feel the power of this place and breathe it into your aura, energetic system as well as through your fascia at a rate and frequency that is comfortable for you. You can then bring this sense of safety into your liminal life experience so you feel safe in your internal experience of your life change.
Listen to my safe harbour meditation. This meditation can help relieve the anxiety, stress and overwhelm that can result when you land in a liminal space in your life and help you find a sense of safe harbour on your growing edge. It’s only 13 minutes long. You can access it here.
If you’re facing changes in your life, relationship and/or work or needing to make changes within yourself and some support, you can read more about how I can help you here.
