Sometimes when I’m working a big growth edge in my life, I wake up feeling fear and dread in my stomach, mostly fear. When I feel intense feelings that I don’t like my old pattern is to get rid of it by pushing it away, ignoring it or dissociating from it. This was how I survived some overwhelming felt experiences in my childhood.

The problem is that these strategies may bring some temporary relief but they aren’t very effective in the long-term. Resisting any unwanted feeling tends to amplify it and can lock it in, especially if the feeling is coming from a young part of you that needs your holding and care and another part of you is pushing it away. Trying to ignore it on the other hand can lead to reactive behavior or disconnecting from the body you are here to inhabit and fully live through.

In this article I will explain:

1. the role your feelings play in your life and why they matter

2. what you need to know about tending to your feelings (and what not to do)

3. and how to become a safe space for you feelings so that you don’t get stuck in them and can discover the wisdom they may hold

Merry. Happy. Jolly. Joy. These are some of the most used words at this time of year.

But the reality for many people is that they don’t feel merry, happy, jolly or joyful. They are experiencing sadness, grief, loneliness, depression and anxiety. This might be you too.

These feelings can be exacerbated at this time of year because there is an expectation and focus on being festive and joyful to the exclusion of these other feelings that are ignored or pushed aside or even shamed (along the lines of “It’s Christmas! Be happy!”) These other feelings want and deserve care, attention and a place at the table as well.