What to do when you don’t know what to do
When you don’t know what to do, you can pray.
And even if you do know what to do, you can pray.
You can pray to god or goddess, the universe, your higher self, wisdom, the light or even just the goodness that exists in the world no matter how hidden it seems.
You can pray for yourself, for another or for all sentient beings.
You can pray on your knees, standing on the train, driving the car, sitting on the toilet, in the shower, walking down the street, in a church, in a forest, in the office, wherever it is that you are.
Even if you don’t believe in prayer, you can pray.
Prayer is a request, a statement of longing, desire or intention.
It can be a plea for help or guidance or a gesture of gratitude.
If you don’t like the words pray or prayer you can substitute ask, request, petition, beseech or commune, remembering it does not have to be to God but for inspiration and wisdom to come from beyond yourself.
Whatever your circumstances right now, whether it be heartbreak, hopelessness, despair,
uncertainty, confusion, depression, fear or shock in the aftermath of a bombshell,
joy, contentment, gratitude, seeking, longing, or dreaming,
you can pray.
You can pray with questions for answers or to receive ideas or inspiration.
You can pray to bless or be blessed.
You can pray to uplift or be uplifted.
You can pray to heal or be healed.
How the world, needs so much of this right now.
You can pray with your own words, or you can borrow the words of others, or chant an ancient prayer.
Just rest your mind within your heart and speak the words you most need or want to say or that naturally arise.
Maybe you won’t receive any immediate answers or notice any immediate change, but you won’t be the same person as before you prayed.
As Rumi once wrote,
“This longing
you express is the return message.
The grief you cry out from
draws you toward union.
Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.”
Peace, connection, alignment and divine support will be yours. Through prayer you will be strengthened and you will contain more light.
Your prayer will carry your intentions out into the world to be received by the intended recipient even if they don’t know it.
Your intentions are powerful and research has shown they can affect all parts of your life in profound ways.
Where your attention goes, energy flows.
Making your prayerful request is only one part of the equation.
You must be able to receive what it is that you seek beyond the form you think it should take.
Sometimes we make requests and are disappointed that they aren’t fulfilled, but if you look closer at what has happened you might see that you weren’t ready or able to receive what it is that you asked for.
I don’t say this to shame or blame because sometimes this is biological.
Your nervous system can become like a fortress to keep you safe from what it perceives could be harmful. Sometimes it keeps you so locked down that it inadvertently keeps out what you most want to receive.
Sometimes there are younger and protective parts of you that may be operating from deep within and beyond your current level of awareness that block and sabotage your experience. Often they’re trying to help you in ways that you have outgrown. But sometimes there are mean critics that will make you feel bad and cut you off from receiving what you most want.
Sometimes answers may have come to you but you have flicked them away and dismissed them or not even seen them as answers to your prayer because they didn’t sound or look like what you thought they should.
Prayers can be answered in strange-seeming, unususal and mysterious ways that are beneficial in ways that you can’t initially perceive.
Once you pray, cultivating curiousity and a willingness to be surprised will be your best friend.
To be curious is to be interested in learning or knowing more. Curious can mean strange and unusual.
So be interested in learning about what shows up after you pray that is surprising, strange or unusual.
Surrender control and attachment to receiving the exact response that you seek. When you make your prayerful request, ask that it be “for this or whatever is aligned with my highest good.” Here you must practice trust that you will receive what is right for you, which may not match what you think it should be. And receiving and acting on what you receive is always done with discernment for you are a sovereign being, in charge of your life and responsible for the choices you make. If it makes you feel bad, it’s probably not the right guidance for you.
Sometimes you may not receive the exact answer or result you seek. It may unfold stages and steps with the first one leading you to where you long to be or unlocking the pathway to your future destiny.
I only share here what I know personally to be true that may be beneficial to you.
There have been times I have woken at 4am with fear and dread coursing through my body. I have called out to the divine and my spirit guides, “SOS save my soul, save my soul, save my soul” over and over again as my personal morse code. Each time my request was answered with peace, calm and soothing entering my body so I could eventually fall back to sleep. Like Rumi said, the longing in my prayer was also the response bringing me into union.
There have been times I have walked through the world wondering why I haven't had inspiration to write. When I have directed that question out to the universe the response I usually receive is “you didn’t ask.” So then I ask, and I get quiet and wait and watch and listen and soon words and poems start to tumble into my mind and I can write.
There have been times I have been lost and unsure of where I am going, or full of doubt and a sense of failure that I cannot fulfil my dream. And so I’ve called out for help.
“Help me. Show me. Guide me. Help me let go of my attachment to how I think things should be and show me the way forward or what I need to do.”
In the calling out I feel warmth as my soul, guides and angels come near. I’m suddenly less lonely and fear dissipates. I am supported and held.
There’s not always an immediate response to my request, but I stay curious and hopeful. I wait, watch, listen and feel.
The guidance I receive is often quiet and subtle.
Often it is an intuitive urge or a quiet but repeating whisper to do something or go somewhere. Occasionally it’s been like hands on my back pushing me to do something when I haven’t acted on the first whispers.
Most recently as I have wrestled with a big problem in my life that I asked for help with, the guidance I received was an intuitive urge to create vision book pages, something I haven’t done for years. Cutting out images and words that flirted with me then pasting them onto a page in a book into a form of poetry.
The pages that formed were reminders from my soul and I felt the urge to change this blog’s name back to Sacred Reminders for Courageous Hearts and return to writing the way I used to write before I started writing the way I thought I had to write.
So dear Soul, if you are lost, stuck, hurting or uncertain, I hope you will try making prayerful requests.
May your longing and willingness to call out for help provide you with the reassuring medicine and support you need and bring calm and ease to your experience.
May you cultivate your curiosity, which will support you to be open to what may seem strange or weird at first but could be the exact answer you need.
May you find your way into loving compassionate presence to see, sense, feel, hear the wisdom, guidance, answers, inspiration and support that are coming for you.
May your prayers be answered.
With love and courage,
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